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| Gas Sign New Star Chest In Time Bristol Rovers last night made a dramatic swoop to strengthen their dressing room ahead of the grim battle for league survival. The Pirates signed a six-foot pine wardrobe from Division Three rivals Mansfield for £49.99. Boss Grey Graydon said: “To be honest we’d like to have bought a player but we just couldn’t stretch to that in the current financial climate. The cupboard was bare. “But the wardrobe is completely wooden and should therefore slot seamlessly into the back four. “In fact, to be honest it is the only part of the team that looks polished. “Admittedly there’s a mobility problem, but we’re used to that here. In fact the wardrobe recently beat Bradley Allen over 100 metres in training.”
The Ikea wardrobe spent five years at Bury before being transferred to Mansfield. It was a regular in the first team dressing room there until suffering devastating damage to a front leg after receiving a heavy kick by a frustrated player. The wardrobe was eventually put back together by the club physio using a set of instructions written only in Korean. But it was unable to regain its spot in the first team dressing room, which had already been taken by a Victorian dresser, and was placed on the market. The wardrobe will now be part of the Rovers team likely to furnish the Conference next season. Graydon said: “It’s seen better days, but that’s par for the course here at the Gas. At least it will be handy in a defensive wall. “It’s got a great chest and fortunately it’s not unhinged like Paul Tait. “Obviously, the rot has already set in at the club but we’re
hoping it doesn’t spread to the wardrobe. “But that shouldn’t prove a problem for them. After all, they’ve been propping up the table for most of the season.” On club source added: “With so many planks already in the squad, the wooden wardrobe has slotted in well and feels completely at home.” The club is now looking at buying a matching pine cabinet to partner the wardrobe, though Graydon has shelved plans to move for former QPR star Gary Bannister. But fortunately, Rovers directors are unlikely to have to dig behind their sofas for years to fund another item of furniture – a trophy cabinet. |
