Step on the Gas

Our season is shaping up nicely with a home-grown team sitting comfortably fourth with a game in hand, and I find myself asking if there is anything else which could possibly increase my enjoyment of the 2002/3 season.

Well, as a matter of fact there is, and as luck would have it someone upstairs appears amenable to my prayers in that department too. For, as I cast my eyes down the Division Three table, it takes them a satisfyingly long time to reach the words “Bristol Rovers”. To be precise, as I run down from the top, my eyes pass over 19 other teams before they settle upon those words. Not-so-mighty clubs such as Kidderminster Harriers, Rushden and Diamonds, Darlington, Torquay and Macclesfield are all perched nicely above the Gas. Currently, there are officially just four worse teams in the entire football league – and one of those is only below them courtesy of four points docked at the start of the season.

I must admit that after enjoying the Gas’s slump last season, I thought it would be too much to ask for them to be languishing in the bottom two at the end of this season. Like most others, I believed they had underachieved (even for them) to such an extent that the only way was up for our less salubrious neighbours – particularly when they appointed a manager with Gas links and a proven track record of getting success on a budget. However, Grey Graydon’s policy of clearing out the dead wood has backfired – and instead he appears to have brought in enough of his own to start a Guy Fawkes bonfire big enough to light up all of Filton. They are just two points off of a relegation spot.

Which leads me to this thought. I know how much we love ribbing the Gas. But when push comes to shove, now that it is a distinct possibility for the first time in our lifetime, would we really want to see them relegated out of the Football League? I mean, would we really want it?

Admittedly, there are pros and cons.

In the days when we were in the same division, we could look forward to derbies twice a season. Nerve-jangling, tense occasions where the actual enjoyment only really came once the game was over and you knew you had won. But, nevertheless, occasions like no other football game I have attended. Yes, Cardiff are rivals, there is always aggro when we play them, an enormous police presence, a genuine dislike between the fans and we all enjoy laughing at them when we win. But it’s not like a Bristol derby game. There is nothing like going into school or work the next day having already mentally worked out exactly what you are going to say to the other Gasheads among your classmates or workmates. For days on end, you can walk a foot taller at work feeling more important, more significant, and the target of immense envy purely and simply because you follow the team that won the Bristol derby. Of course, there is also the other side of the coin and we can all remember the misery of knowing that we are going to have to face the derision of smug Gasheads after a defeat against them. And, let’s admit it, in between the derby highs there have been some shocking, sickening defeats over the years.

Even without derby games, having a rival Bristol team means that you can go into work/school every Monday and take the mick mercilessly if they have lost. You have sparring partners, people who care if your team won or lost – even if it’s because they hate to see us do well. I can think of few more enjoyable ways to spend Saturday evening than listening to the classified results on Radio Bristol on a day when we have won and they have lost. At that point, you know that all you need to complete a perfect Saturday are a decent curry and the love of a good woman.

However, despite the joys of having two teams in Bristol, I confess little would give me greater pleasure than seeing the Gas slip into non-league anonymity. It probably sounds vindictive but it’s the truth, however spiteful it looks written down. I admit that some of it is deep-seated instinctive hatred of all things Gas which comes purely from decades of emotional attachment. I fully acknowledge this part of me which wants to see them fail based purely on emotion and instinct rather than reason. I don’t just want to sing that there’s only one team in Bristol, I want people to know that it is the case that there is only one team in Bristol. My team. I don’t want ignorant fans in other parts of the country to confuse us with Gasheads and I don’t want our association with the city diluted by another team grabbing the attention. I want them to be irrelevant. I want my team to represent Bristol and I want people to think of Bristol and think of City. Many of you share that, and many of you don’t.

However, I shall now argue a perfectly logical, dispassionate reason why we should all hope that the Gas sink lower than a John Leslie pick-up line this season.

For those of you who insist that you don’t care one way or the other about any club other than our own, think on this. If City were the only league team in Bristol, it would increase the number of casual fans we get and also the amount of commercial sponsorship. That could only help our club. Dads being pestered by their kids to take them to a game would bring them to the Gate because we were the only league team, which would increase our own long-term fan base. Every week, dads taking their kids to see their first game are heading to the Gas instead of us because they happen to be the closer league team to their home. If the Gas drop out of the league, where is the dad with no previous commitments going to take little Johnny when he asks to go to a football game? Instead of getting one out of every two, we’ll get eight or nine out of ten. And this is the fan base of the future, because a fan gripped at the age of seven has another 70 or so years of support stored away inside.

Next, imagine you are a businessman looking to increase your exposure at local football grounds. Where are you going to go? Well, currently City have higher gates so you might go there. But, of course, you will be aware that unless you fork out for advertising at both clubs you are not going to reach all the league football-going public in the city. Worse, you risk being associated with one and actually alienating some fans. So you spread your budget across the teams, or you might even be tempted to give your business to the Gas because although they get smaller crowds they are cheaper to advertise with. But, take away the Gas’s league status and Hey Presto! A city-wide monopoly. No competition, no risk of alienating fans, and knowledge you’ll reach every football fan who attends league games in Bristol. More money in the coffers for our club, more money to balance the books, more money to arm ourselves with better players on the pitch and more chance of catapulting ourselves back into the big time.

Thirdly, how many of you would like to know that in a couple of years’ time we will STILL be the highest-placed team in Bristol? I know I would. So the more of a gap there is between us, the longer it will take them to bridge it. Look on Gas relegation as insurance – a way of knowing you’ll still be able to gloat about being the better team a few years down the line.

Overall, I can live with my conscience on this one because I believe it would be in my club’s interest for the Gas to drop out of the league. So, yes, I'd love it if the Gas got relegated. But would you?

RedTop

* Do you agree or disagree with RedTop’s view? Email us your opinion at letters@theincider.com.