Issue Six

Star striker Lee Peacock writes a message on a sought-after Incider T-shirt as our very own Edson watches on…er…captivated. But what pearl of wisdom was Lee penning on the fabric? Or what thoughts are going through Edson’s mind (humour us and just imagine he has some).

Send your offerings to editor@theincider.com. Entries should reach us no later than mid-day on December 1st. We’ll print the best ones in Issue Seven – and you could be in with a chance of winning an exclusive Incider T-shirt for the best overall entry. The Editor’s decision is final, even though some of his decisions make Tony Pulis look like a good judge.

Issue Five

The photo of Lee Matthews being helped off the pitch by Gill (one of a selection of similar photos from different matches which we have in our files) produced some of the best responses yet. Some were almost funny. In the wake of the Shaun Taylor and Mark Hammond saga, more than one of you picked up on the hilarious observation that Lee’s penchant for the injury table means Gill has the safest job at the club. However, for originality the winner from a high-quality bunch was one of three offerings from BTR_FTG:

There were plenty of other entries almost as funny as looking at the Division Three league table – and thanks to those of you who took the time to send them in. Here are the best of them:

Gill is saying: "Thanks Lee, at least now my job won’t be at risk"

Robbored

Matthews: "You should be thankful I'm here Gill"
Gill: "Why's that Lee?"
Matthews: "Well at least you know that as long as I'm here, you're not going to be threatened with redundancy"

Lee Besant (Tazman)

(1) Matthews: "I've a lumbar problem..."
Gill: " No ! You've a lumber problem !"

(2) Matthews: "If I was a racehorse they'd shoot me."
Gill: "If you were a racehorse you'd be Pedigree Chum."

(3) Matthews: "I'll try to run it off..."
Gill: "Call an ambulance! He's concussed & delusional."

BTR_FTG

(1) Gill: “Let's get you off this horrible cold muddy pitch and away from all these
nasty men and back into the nice warm treatment room with auntie Gill.”

(2) Gill: “Did the nasty man hurt you Lee? He's a very naughty boy and I will report
him to his mummy.”

(3) Matthews: “I got out of bed this morning and the pain shot right up my leg, ooh it
was agony, and when I was picking up the post I had to lean against the wall, feel my knuckles, they're like blocks of ice, that's bad circulation that is, and there was this rushing in my ears the other day, which is a sign of a heart tremor, and the other afternoon I was really thirsty, I think I must have a kidney infection, it's alright for these young lads running around without a care in the world, but they get to my age they'll realise the most important thing you ever have is your health, and people don't value it, they neglect it, I went to the doctor the other day and he said he'd never seen anything like my foot outside of a medical textbook, and I can tell when there's rain coming as my knee aches something rotten....”
Gill: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Eddie Hitler

Matthews: “F**k me Gill look...flying pigs, I must be fit after all!!”

Danboy BCFC

(1) Gill is saying "Is this where the key goes to wind him up?"

(2) Gill is saying "That's right, now show me your spout."

Rob George (Orj)

Gill: "For Christ’s sake, not again! Ever thought about going private"?

Eldered

Matthews: “Look what i did putting on my Incider t-shirt…but it was worth it'

The Big C

Matthews "Oi, boss will you watch what you are doing with them fingers. You just jabbed me in the back".

Paul Stuckey (JudgeRed)