EXCLUSIVE READER OFFER!

Once again, The Incider is proud to present an exclusive opportunity for you, the great Bristol City supporting public, to get your hands on yet another fantastic exclusive reader offer – The Danny Wilson Inaction Figure.

In the best traditions of these offers, we can exclusively reveal that we will be exclusively using the word exclusive to over-exaggerate the exclusiveness of this exclusive offer.

‘INACTION MAN’ is a toy you’ll want to prop in a corner and forget you ever wasted your money on again and again. He comes with his own exclusive post, for you to lean him against, even though there are important decisions and substitutions he could be making.

Each toy comes complete with three different coloured suits: grey, charcoal and ash, to reflect his ever-changing moods, plus a matching trench coat for those long walks form the tunnel to the dugout and back again.

Hold your own life-like press conference with your Danny Wilson Inaction Figure by pulling the cord at the back of the doll and activating the four prerecorded phrases :

“Our season starts here.”
“I’m more than happy with a point.”
“Anything away from home is a bonus.”
“I love you, Joe.”

This toy is suitable for 8 to 11 year olds. A few people have kept it until they were 14, but they did notice it did nothing for the final three years they had it and, if anything, it deteriorated badly in that period. They later realised they should have put it in a car boot sale when they had the chance.

Finally, to keep the doll as life-like as possible, you will notice that, as with the real thing, the Danny Wilson Inaction Figure has no balls to speak of.

Available for just £750,000, payable over three years with no guarantee of any enjoyment, we’re sure this offer is one you won’t be able to refuse.