Silverware – A Gashead’s Guide

We are aware that this website is looked at and, it is rumoured, even read by some Gasheads - though obviously this is limited to the literate ones amongst them, which reduces the numbers quite dramatically.

For the benefit of those Rovers fans who can read and have managed to concentrate long enough to get this far down the page, we feel it only fair to clear up some confusion resulting from our victory in the LDV Final.

That large trophy you will have seen being paraded around by our players at the end of the game is what is commonly referred to in football parlance as ‘silverware’. This is essentially a generic term indicating any trophy given to the winning team in a competition.

In any cup knock-out competition, the idea is to beat the opposing team (this applies to the league too, but let’s not run before we can walk). Once the opposition have been beaten, one’s own team is said to ‘progress’ (see glossary) to the next round. This process continues until such a time as only two teams remain in the competition.

At this stage a game is played between the two remaining teams, and this is referred to as a ‘final’. This is the game you will have watched last Sunday on television, and spent the last week denying you saw anything of when you spoke to your Gashead friends (again, see glossary).

The winner of this game, or ‘us’, as we would refer to them, are then presented with a trophy, and each player receives a ‘medal’. The losing side also get a medal but no trophy.

To recap, winning a footballing competition results in the winners being awarded silverware , and each player receives a winner’s (you really need to invest in a dictionary) medal.

We hope this helps and that the confused state you found yourselves in at the sight of footballers ‘celebrating’ (an act of enjoyment after a ‘victory’…oh, this is getting impossible) in front of a ‘crowd’ didn’t spoil your enjoyment of the game too much. Oh no, that’s right, none of you watched it, did you? Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with us.

Glossary of terms:

‘Trophy’ - noun.
1. Something serving as a token or memento of victory, excellence, or the like; award.
2. Something taken as a prize or spoil of a competition.

‘Progress’ – verb.
1. Movement toward a specific end; advance.
2. Forward or onward movement in time or space.
3. Forward movement through stages of development; continuous improvement.

‘Final’ – noun.
1. The last sports contest in a series, matching the two best teams or players.

‘Friend’ – noun. (can be plural. No, really, it can.)
1. One closely attached to another by affection and esteem.
2. A colleague, associate, or comrade.

‘Medal’ – noun
1. A flat piece of metal, in varying shapes and with an appropriate design or inscription stamped on it, used as an award or as a commemorative object.

‘Winner’ – noun.
1. One that wins; victor.

‘victory’ – noun.
1. Success against an opponent.

‘crowd’ – noun.
1. A large number of people massed together.
2. A particular social group, bound together by common interests or activities.